Fall 2011 in Retrospect

 This past fall I have been living and changing life to the fullest. I work a full time job while going to school full time...which really isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I have been immersed in a new situation of people with my job and have lived out what I have always been taught about loving EVERYONE, no matter what they have done or currently do. I have a genuine burden on my heart for all my co workers. I love that I have gotten to interact with them and get to know them. School has been stressful but I am so glad for great friends like Madison, Jonah, Tiffany, and Hillary who have made me laugh weekly and suffered through certain classes with me. I have loved having History with  Jonah and I have loved eating meals with Tiffany and Hillary.  Then there is my friend, Madison. Madison has shown me this semester what it means to discover myself and be me, what it means to open my eyes to the world and see it in a way I have never seen it before. She has shown me how to push past the voices in my head that tell me YOU CAN'T.  She helped me run two 5K's this semester (one of them quite intense although SUPER FUN) With Madison by my side I ran the LUVMUD Obstacle Course 5K. When I wanted to stop she made me keep going. When I said I couldn't Madison told me that I could and even though she could have finished that race ALOT quicker without me, she stayed by my side encouraging me and coaching me with helpful tips. Due to this, I was able to run the St. Jude 5K improving my time and falling in love even more with running. I have had countless BBQ Nachos and Warm brownies with this girl and watched her live her life to it's fullest and help anyone who comes into her past. I have gone downtown and checked out the parking meter festival where we rode a gigantic teeter totter made of recycled material and got to meet cool new people. She has truly helped me open up and see the world. She encourages me to do things that I either have been afraid to do or didn't think I could do. SHe has taught me that whatever you want you have to go get and work for!  Tiffany has been my source of encouragement and laughter over a good ChicFila biscuit. We talk about our loves for what we want to do when we grow up and romantic places. Tiffany has such a joyful spirit about her and I don't think she has ever talked about a negative thing. Through her I have seen a true passion for an aspect of business and I have watched her integrate it throughout her whole life and her determination to go get it. This girl is going to be seriously big in the music industry business one day!! Jonah has been my history buddy and the guy who says the funniest or least expected things at just the right time. I have had fun in Aram's class with him and we both have had fun trying to teach each other the things in History class that we don't understand.  Precious Eric has been down in Orlando, chasing and accomplishing his dream, and I could not be any prouder. The fact that he knows what he wants and goes and gets it (with Disney and proposing to me lol) makes me so happy. This fall truly has flown by much more quickly then I ever thought it would. I am so glad I could let him go so he could follow his dream down here. The smile on his face in pictures and the sound of his voice on the phone reminds me that it was all worth it!!! I can't wait to be married to him and be MRS. HIGNIGHT!!!!! I can't wait for the adventures that await us in this life and for the love he has already shown me!!! He is truly my best friend and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Well that was my Fall in Cliff Note version :)

Becoming a Hignight

I love E's family so incredibly much! For the past few years his family would claim me in a heartbeat. I feel the same way but tonight it has really settled in. I'm going to be a Hignight. I mean I will still always be a part of the Churchill/Alsbrook/Moore clan but I will be a Hignight. Tonight this hit home, I am sitting with MJ as she has broken her ankle on both sides of it. I would sit up with anyone while they are in pain, I'm overloaded with sympathy, but the intense pain and sympathy I feel for her deep inside... That's family. This lady has been here for me through so much and now is my time to give back to her. She is such a kind, caring lady. She would give you the shirt off her back in the freezing cold if you needed it.
Sure the Hignight family and my family are different in many ways. My family is alway thirty minutes early and the Hignight's ..well they are closer to on time but there is never a dull moment with them (nor my family) so many laughs and memories and I can't wait to join that :)

Just keep swimming!

Somewhere in the middle of this semester I lost track of time. I'm so glad it has flown by I am so close to having E in the same city as myself. I've been working full time and going to school full time and I am really starting to feel it (don't misconstrue this as complaining) I am so blessed to have the job I have and the boss I have. I lucked out by getting this job. I work some strenuous hours but with only two cashiers at the moment that is to be expected.I enjoy my job, I mean my life goal isn't to see wings but for now its a reasonable job with good hours and pay to get through school.
I've been overwhelmed the past few days, not in a bad way, just realizations that are sinking in. when I verbalize I'm overwhelmed I feel sort of silly for being overwhelmed when I think about what all my friends are going through in their life. My silly little realizations such as I'm moving in January (I still don't think it has really sunk in yet. ) and the fact I'm getting married in a year are mind blowing. I will miss my family I know but I am excited about the new adventures and beginning the rest of my life with my best friend.
Another overwhelming thought....school. I becoming more aware lately that nursing may have just been a dream of mine but now Gods plan for me. I am happy with being a medical assistant I really am. I think it really is where my heart lies. The more I pursue and finish my Spanish minor the more I realize I'm in LOVE withthe language an the culture. The more I pray the more I realize I want to be completely bilingual. I am finding myself wondering if I have been wasting these years of nursing on a selfish dream instead of realizing it's my Spanish major I am supposed to be getting so I can live in a bilingual city (Orlando) and so I can use Spanish in medicine as a medical assistant or patient care assistant or in whatever other capacity God has for me down the road. It's hard to acknowledge that you have chased a dream blindly bc you wanted it. Well let me modify I feel like my nursing isn't to be done at Memphis. Ive been pondering nursing at Concorde in Tampa. I'm just not sure however (prayers appreciated) so now I struggle with the decision of whether or not to finish out ny Spanish major at memphis (to my understanding I would maybe be ab a year away. ) or just stop altogether (it hardly seems worth it to stop when I'm so close to something. I love Spanish I love my classes. It's the one class I never skip and the one I never check the clock or want to leave. I feel such a strong tug towards Spanish ( I really feel like it's the Holy Spirit) I know God will provide for His plan just waiting and praying and tomorrow it's final decision time. For now I just keep swimming!

"aholic"

For anyone who had to look twice at the title I do apologize for it does not say alcoholic just the ending of the word. I could be all proper and tell you what the suffix -aholic means but I don't feel like it :). I have discovered what my aholic is though....working. To deal with stress and problems I work. That's actually how I am at work today working a double. I volunteered. Why? Well the reason is two fold actually. 1. Because I would just be sitting at home like a lazy bum if I weren't 2. Bc I make money to pay bills and 3. Because it offers an escape to personal life's issues. (okay so that was 3 ...oops) I have a few things in my life I should take care of, none of them serious, just small, minute (tic tac sized if you will) things. My mind equates that too why deal with them when I could be at work. Sone of the things I need to deal with will hurt emotionally but need to be done. I guess I will jump on that this week. It's funny how we all deal with things differently. I have a good friend who just runs. I wish I could motivate myself to do that it's much healthier than working I bet! So today I an working 11-11 in an effort to put off what I shouldn't be. Don't worry this working all thetine thing isn't permanent! It will cease once I am back in my element (and after my boss hires some more cashiers there is just two of us right now)
I can't wait to be in my normal groove of things. I dint mind working and making money but I def don't canto become obsessive. After all, somewhere in here school and wedding planning must still fit. It will. One thing I have learned this semester is time management. Seriously, I plan time and multi task much more than I used too. I realized somewhere over the last few winks that I grew up in some respects. It seems like just yesterday I graduated from highschool and now it's been almost four years. I still have decisions to make and things to do but for now I am just an aholic...workaholic that is.

Work/School/Wedding Planning

The title sums up my life right now and I'm loving it. Sure, I would be a but happier if Eric were around but he isn't and I'm not going to fixate on that. Work truly has been my saving grace in striving not to focus on the fact Eric isn't here. I work at least 24 hours a week and am always willing to pick up peoples shifts or extend my own (good practice for Disney?) Right now I get alot of hours to myself as it is. We are down to two cashiers so I'm pretty much the night person and eat, sleep, and breathe work on the weekends (yay for having this Sunday off!!) It's really not a problem with me I need to start saving money and a good work ethic is never bad to have :)
School is in the process of coming to a close for the semester. I will be sad but thankful for a break. :) I plan on taking two online classes this spring while I'm at Disney in the spring. I love o lone classes. When I teach myself things they come MUCH quicker. I wish they weren't so expensive though and the only other con is you don't get to meet cool, interesting ppl like you actually get to do in a classroom setting.
I had my first meeting with mine and Erics wedding planner. This girl is so sweet and I am so honored she is planning it. Right now, my main focus is set a budget. This has been hard. I have had to really think about wants and needs, what's doable, and what's not really imperative. Basically, in the long run will it matter if "fill in the blank" was part of our wedding decor etc. I have already loved this journey :) the other day I told Eric we needed to go ahead and set a budget and his response was , "yes we do...how do we do that...?" I chuckled and shot him a text back teasing that we should ask Dave Ramsey.
I'm so thankful for modern technology so I can still keep in touch with my wonderful fiancé and have precious moments with him. I know I say it every post but I feel like this experience has grown and matured us so much, and also ha proven to us the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder", is indeed true. Being apart give you a much deeper appreciation for the blessings you have in your life. I hope I never take Eric for granted but if I ever do I hope I remember back to this experience and how much he truly does mean to me. I try to tell him that everyday. I so yearn to want to he the wife to him God would have me to be :) I can't wait to see where He takes us on this wonderful journey. So much has been wonderful already and it's ONLY BEGINNING!
Well back to work :)

Friend is someone to share cookie with...

Ever since I was younger I have always taken a liking to this phrase penned by Cookie Monster. Yes the one from Sesame Street. Lately, I have been more thankful for friends than ever. In the time Eric has been gone I really do feel like I have strengthened some friendships in my life and made some new ones as well. It's during times like these when I am running around with my head chopped off it seems that I need friends to make me laugh, friends who need a listening ear and most importantly friends who tell me stuff I need to hear. That stuff that may not be what I want to hear but the stuff that I need to hear. Someone who loves me enough that they aren't afraid to tell me I am doing something stupid because they want the best for me.
I had lunch with one such friend today. I am so glad I met her back in high school. She is kind, caring, and best of all she can tell you what needs to be said and it always sounds so loving. Christ radiates from her and I don't think she has ever said one thing to me that was hurtful (even when she was telling me those things that I didn't want to hear.)
I have made a new friend this fall in another hip lady. She is so real and isn't afraid to speak her mind and I love that about her. She has had more in common with me then any other friend I have had in a while. I am sure I probably annoy her sometimes. She is that person I can be stupid and sing loudly with. Someone who I have opened up and shared my soul with, and although we have different views on things we accept each other for who we are and I think that is what is most beautiful to me about our friendship. :)
I am so glad God gave us friends and I am so glad He blessed me with a best friend that I get to spend the rest of my life with :) He exceeded my wildest expectations when He sent Eric my way all those years ago and all the waiting prior to dating payed off because now I get to fufill God's story for our lives with Eric.

Back to the Grind

I started back school today and tomorrow i start back at work from my vacation. It was a wonderful vacation! So glad to see Eric, (so glad to be engaged as well), just glad to be away from the monotonous Memphis life. Today I started back school. I am so glad I have friends with me at school. HIstory with Jonah makes my days much easier and lunch with my good friend whom I can tell anything too and talk about anything with truly do make being here while Eric in Orlando much easier.
So now I'm back to school on MWF and work 4 other days of the week. Its just a few more weeks till this semester is over and a few more after that until I get to see Eric again.

In January I will be moving to Orlando for the spring semester to take part in Disney's college program!!! I couldn't be more excited!!!! January to May of working at Disney and living in Orlando (where my sinuses don't act up) I will be truly sad to leave some people but I will be back in May and from then on out I will be wedding planning like crazy. its funny that it seems like just a short time ago I was graduating high school and getting started in college and now BAM, here I am, almost 4 years later.  I def. have not achieved some things I want for my life, but I have achieved others and some of the things that have come in place of the things that I did want to achieve have in some situations seemed so much better. For now I am gonig to finish up this semester and then prepare for next semester. Well off to study. :)

One of the happiest days of my life

well....WE'RE ENGAGED!

I'm engaged to my best friend in the whole wide world!!! I love him so much and I am so excited he has asked me to marry him! I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him and seeing what God has in store for us. Pictures and the story are to follow I am just so ecstatic I couldn't wait to post about it :) 

Finally at Disney

Well after two days of traveling, I am in Disney and sitting comfortably in a living room in a condo with Eric and his family. Now for a lazy day tomorrow and an evening with family :) SHort post bc I am tired and let's face it who wants to hear about a car ride.

Gotta Start Somewhere

Well I did it. Yesterday with a wonderful friend of mine I ran the LUVMUD 5K benefiting Habitat for Hope. MY FIRST 5K. This was more of a fun run 5K which was perfect for me. I was essentially using this 5K to see what my weaknesses were and what to improve upon. Special thanks go to my wonderful friend I ran it with (well half walked) for coaching me and helping me through and pushing me. I am so grateful. This wasn't an ordinary 5K.  Lots of mud, lots of obstacles. AWESOMENESS!!! It was a great experience, one I wouldn't trade for anything. I now know what I need to work on when I run in my weekly life and what to strive for in my goal setting. My time wasn't perfect but you gotta start somewhere right. I was just focused on finishing and finish I did, covered in mud, soap, grass, dirt. It was such great fun, a great way to start my 5K running experience. Now to train for the St. Jude 5K and possibly one in November :)

Perseverance

This seems to be what I have been trying to tackle lately. Perseverance. By definition is:

to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.

I definitely find myself doing this lately, and I'm not really complaining about it. There are some things you always take for granted...no matter how old you are...and then one day all of a sudden the light bulb clicks on that you have to fight for what you want. You have to steadfastly continue toward your goal despite difficulty, obstacles or discouragement.  

I was always told that as a child of God I would definitely have to persevere in my life if I wanted to give Him glory with what I do. I would be lying if I said I hadn't failed miserably in some ways because I have, but I am so thankful for His grace and mercy over me. I am glad He doesn't hold me to an expectation of perfection because to be honest I would fail miserably. 

 

One area I have had to have perseverance in is my jogging. I want to be great at it so badly, and I hate having to take small leaps and bounds (patience would definitely be a lesson learned here too.) Having exercise induced asthma and a right ankle with very weak ligaments due to some breaks in them last year make it hard to run like I use to, but they also make me more determined to be able to do it. Pre ankle injury I had about an 11 minute mile (yes I know slow to yall who run alot) but it is good to me, so having a 17 minute mile now is not acceptable to me, but I am working on it. I am PERSEVERING through it, trying to up my time a little more everyday. After all, babies don't just walk right away, they stand and wobble, take a few steps and fall down, but what do they do? They get right on back up and take those few steps again. That is what I am determining to persevere through and get my mile back to that magic 11 mark. God has been so faithful in bringing me people in my life or instilling the same passion in people already in my life. Eric is doing a half marathon in January so when he was here we were running together. For health reasons, my grandma is now having to walk so I have her to walk a mile and half with (I almost have her up to two miles) and then there is my new friend. She motivates me to keep exercising. She has motivated me to sign up for the St. Jude 5k (while she herself will be doing the half marathon) and we plan on doing an upcoming Obstacle Course 5k next month. She is one of the most encouraging people I have ever met.  I love her dearly and am so glad God has blessed me with her friendship.

 

Another place I am having to persevere in is the balance of school and work. Work isn't hard, in fact I have time to study at work, and have an easier job than most. Please don't misconstrue this as complaining. I am so happy and know I am blessed to have a job. Sometimes I just have to persevere to come home from work at night and fit in those 4-5 hours of studying and fight the urge to not want to go hang out with friends all the time. It's part of growing up I think. When I get married, I will have work, home and a husband to take care of and I can't wait for that. I would def. however say that this is training me for that. I don't get much free time and before when that would have bothered me it doesn't really bother me now. I knew when I declared my major that my life would pretty much be study study study until I was done and that is okay with me, because I love what I want to do. I have a passion for it and I know  the wait and the studying will pay off. 

 

I also have to persevere in the fact to keep going with life even though the person I want most to be in the same city with me isn't. Once again I am not complaining because I know people whose husbands are in different countries fighting for us, and I have more respect for them then they will ever know. Having to move on with life temporarily isn't always super easy though. There are many times when I want to call Eric and just let him know how much I miss him and how much I want him here in Memphis with me. Then I think, He is down in Orlando, doing something he has a passion for, a love for. Much like I have a love for nursing, he has a love for Resort management and though I don't personally understand this love (much like he can't quite comprehend mine for wanting to care for sick people) I know that I love him and whatever he loves I will support. I know he would do the same for me. So I am content to persevere through the fact that he isn't here because I KNOW that he is doing something he loves and that ultimately will advance him in his future in this career. I am so thankful that in 34 days I get to go down and see him. 

 

However, for now I am content to persevere through my life that God has so richly blessed me with. With a great new friend by my side who encourages me everyday, I know I will make it. She is a wonderful person to have around. She is constantly making me laugh, we just have fun together. Whether we are eating dinner at Bubble Tea or reliving a petty discussion we had by seeing Ryan Gosselin (however its spelled lol) on the big screen in a movie, I know she gets me.

 

well thats enough rambling for now. :)  

Staying Busy

Life this week has been pretty good. A little emotional but I def. can't complain.

I took my first Anatomy Test today and I made an 86 on it. I was excited to make a B. Our teacher then informed us he was giving bonus quizzes for a possibility of making five extra bonus points. PRAISE THE LORD I studied the section on homeostasis like it was going out of style. I got my five extra bonus points bringing me to a 91...giving me an A!!!! SO THANKFUL!

I have been working alot lately. Between work, school, and studying, I keep myself fairly busy. I am loving it though. I have the chance to eat a few meals with a good new friend I have made over the past few weeks and have hung out a few times with an old friend I am rekindling with.

God has shown himself so faithful this week. He has given me strength and stamina when I needed it and people in my life at the right time. He has given me peace about things I have been anxious about, and brought sleep to me when I didn't think I would be able to. He has strengthened my resolve on issues and broken me down into tears on others. HE is so faithful.

A song that has been close to my heart lately is "He's Always Been Faithful" by Sarah Groves. That song says exactly how I feel and even on days when I don't feel it, I have it on my ipod and written on my wall in my room reminding me of this.  HE is so faithful. Ironically, I don't think it is something I would have learned to the full extent that I have learned it if Eric wasn't in Orlando. I'm not trying to say Eric was hindering me. Just sometimes, God has to get you by yourself to teach you a lesson. HE needed Eric and I apart so I could lean fully on HIM and teach me this lesson. It give the lesson greater meaning. It also taught me that I can live without Eric in the same city as me for a little while. The missing Eric part is starting to kick in, but I have my countdown (38 days) for those of you who were wondering. I am loving life and can't wait to share with Eric about my fall and I can't wait to hear about his!

Well off for more studying!!!!

Coffe, study, Repeat :)

This is definitely how I have felt today. If I hadn't have had that cup of coffee this morning I just don't know what I would've done. Mondays and Wednesdays are my buckle down days. I am at school from 7-7. I have a five hour break and instead of drive home I just veg at school and STUDY STUDY STUDY!!! I have so far spent a collective total of 5.5 hours in the library studying ONE subject today! I knew Anatomy is going to take a lot of studying, and I am not complaining. Just saying. If anything today, I have learned that my glasses are no longer current...my head hurt worse then if I hadn't worn them. In saying, I was prompted to make an appointment with my eye doctor (it is time for my annual anyway.) Hopefully, my eye sight hasn't worsened.
It certainly was already random as it was. One eye nearsighted and one eye farsighted. So hopefully with an updated prescription or a new answer will make staring at this computer screen and endless sheets of white paper with tiny black words on them much easier.

I am in love with my classes this semester. My spanish class is awesome and while I am still not sure about my profesor's teach style, I think I can manage to buckle down and self teach my stuff. The fact that I took a year off from my spanish minor did become really apparent to me this week and last week as we reviewed. Still, I love the Spanish language. This morning, one of my friends and I were texting and I told her I was walking into my spanish class she said, "EW", which is fine cause she is a French minor, to which I say, "EW", haha.

My history teacher definitely makes learning history fun, and while he isn't quite Dr. Weaver, he def. is the next best. I worry about his class because I am not good at writing essays and that is LITERALLY all ANY assignment in his class is, an essay. However, I feel like I am retaining alot and he gives us the essay question possibilities on our syllabus so you can always just prepare for each question. I am so glad I am taking a class with a friend! It always give you something to look forward to. Thanks Jonah for letting me know we were taking one of the same classes so I could hop into your section!

Statistics isn't quite my favorite subject but we are a lively, discussive (is that a word) group and my teacher is great. I opted to be a notetaker in this class for SDS, partially because noone else would volunteer and to be helpful to this student, but also because this is the class that keeps me at school in the evenings on Monday and Wednesday (prompting the 5 hour break.) Sometimes it is so tempting to go home and now especially with being a note taker that just isn't an option.

Theatre...well its basic theatre. Totally bearable but nothing that really is worthy of saying on here (which is a nice way of saying I didn't get to go last week) My boss at work extended me an hour and pushed me out of time to get to class. I had dinner with a wonderful friend instead. :)

That leaves Anatomy. There is so much i could say aout this topic. I have a love hate relationship iwht it. I love A & P, I just wish it didn't have chemistry at the beginning of the book. I have never been a big fan of chemistry. It was just always one of those subjects that didn't hold my attention enough to want to know more about it. I am very inquisitive and interested in the human body and its functions, but I guess as to how it is made up and what the basis of all those functions are has just never made it into my head to want to know. I have just always accepted it is what it is I suppose.
In saying that my first test over chapters 1 & 2 is Monday or Tuesday ( a perk of taking an online course) I have chapter 1 down. Bet you can't guess what chapter 2 is? CHEMISTRY (so I have been disciplined and for the past 5.5 hours have had my rear end in this library chair in front of the computer: studying the power points, doing the vocabulary, review, and even the questions online which is like a practice quiz and give you a grade (not in the book , like a just for you thing.)  Well a 79.8 is a B.....so I guess I will accept that but I will not quit studying. I want A's or high B's. I know I can do this stuff it is just a matter of applying myself and really buckling down.
I already feel like I have massacred a billion trees with all the notecards I have been using for Anatomy and Spanish.

So life has just been going. I am just rolling along, enjoying what I am learning from life and in school. It really has hit me lately that I miss Eric sooo much, but I shall be a big girl ( I am always reminded of the old Pert Plus commercial where the song "Big Girls Don't Cry" is being played in the background.)

Well that's it for now.

Soaking Up The Sun.

That would be exactly how I would describe my life right now. I'm just soaking up the sun. It's that feeling that you know everything is as it should be and you are just laying there soaking it all up. Eric is at Disney (where he is supposed to be), I am here working and going to school (as I am supposed to be.)  
God really has shown me over the past few weeks that I am right where HE wants me. I am able to help so many right now or encourage them. From just the small texts, to hanging out with friends and laughing together, I just feel like it is right and have a warmth in my heart.
If you had told me six months ago that I was going to be content this fall I would have laughed in your face. My friend Madison told me before Eric left that I was going to enjoy this fall and was going to learn alot about Eric and myself this fall. Boy was she right!!! They are all good things that I have learned. I wouldn't change it for anything though.

It was so nice this weekend to spend time with my friend Miriam at the ballgame and fair. It was nice yesterday to spend the day with Hope and Lily and watch movies. 
It was absolutely gorgeous today outside so between classes Madison and I decided to have a small picnic on the lawn. It was so wonderful outside and it was nice to just sit on a blanket on the lawn at school, soak up the sun and forget everything around me for a little while and just have girl talk :) I hope she enjoyed it as much as I did, although we are diong it again tomorrow for lunch so I'm thinking she loved it. 

I got a wonderful call this morning, informing me that my work schedule had changed just a little and that my boss was switching my normal Tuesday work day with Saturday lunch shift. It's a great feeling when you find out you don't work on a day you think you do :) Don't get it wrong I love my job, but who wouldn't be happy about finding out you don't work. My sister would say yay more time to hang out with my friends. My initial reaction was yay more time to study for classes and finish up a few projects :) That's the life of a nursing student I suppose. I did end up with plans of "working" tonight though. A friend of mine asked me if I could watch her precious little boy tonight for a few hours. I immediately said yes. (who could resist watching a precious little baby?)

So tonight I will do that, come home and study some more (with hopefully a walk around the neighborhood with my grandma inbetween) I will also probably finish my Statistics project tonight. I have a massive 5 hour break tomorrow between classes and while I am spending 1-2 of those hours with Madison that still gives me three hours to finish the project. 
I don't want to get in the habit of finishing up projects last minute though, so I will probably finish it tonight. :) You know what they say if you start well it helps you end well. I want to end well. :)

Well enough rambling back to studying anatomy :)

Mercy & Compassion & Random Musings

Lately I have been contemplating spiritual gifts and my own spiritual gifts and just what that means God requires of me. Over the past few months many things have happened in my life and to the people in my life and to people whom I don't even really know who they are. I hurt for people often. Wanting to take away their pain, wanting to if I physically could, take some of their pain on myself as if to make their suffering a little easier. It's part of me, wired into who I am, how I feel. For years I never understood why I was so affected by others feelings.  Finally, one year I learned that  I had the spiritual gift of mercy and compassion.  Upon digging a little deeper and talking with my mentor about it, many things started to make sense to me.
As I began to learn about this gift (or as I like to call it a trait in my life) I began to realize why I am emotionally wired the way I am. God made me  a specific way to use these things for Him and His glory.  FInally, the things I felt for years that my family worried about me for began to make sense. I wasn't some crazy, emotional person worried about the welfare of others for no reason. It was this spiritual gift that God has given me that has allowed me to care about some things that some people would find completely crazy or silly.
As I have grown up and become an adult, I have really found and observed how the gift of mercy is different.  Things happen to people and while some people just can't seem to find any sympathy for them, I find myself having an overwhelming sense of sympathy for them and just want to help out and lend a helping hand and take some of their stress and pain away.  Many times I get lectured for it. Yes, I have had to learn the fine line so I wouldn't give some people too much attention and be an "enabler" but I still struggle today with getting to attached. I find myself emotionally drained sometimes but not in a bad way.  I find myself on my knees in prayer,  interceding to my Heavenly Abba on people's behalves.  After all, doesn't the Bible say that we should
  "...help the weak, be patient with all men, see that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that whcih is good for one another and all men, to rejoice always and pray without ceasing." 1 Thes. 5:14b-17
I can't stand the thought of seeing someone who is hurt and not even offering a kind word or just a hand on the shoulder. 
I am not saying this to "pump myself up" or "brag" I guess this is all something that has been in my head that I had finally just had to put out there in verbal words.

Now that I got that out of my system...lol. A quick update. Work is going well. I have a crazy long work day tomorrow but I know with God's strength I will make it through.
Please pray for me, I have found my energy to still be decreasing and just can not quite figure it out but this is not a good time. Sleep isn't coming easily and I can't do caffeine since I now break out into hives whenever I consume so much as a cup of tea or coffee. (Thank God we have decaf tea at home because I have to have a little sweet tea every now and then)

School is going well. It has taken a little bit of getting used to, but I think I am finaly giong to be able to stay in the swing of things.

48 days til I leave for Disney. Yes I have officially decided to start the countdown at 48...I'm crazy I know.

I'm so glad I have been able to get to know a new friend better this week. I can't wait to see what this semester brings for her as she has already had quite a few surprises come her way but she is one fo the strongest people I know and I know if anyone can handle it, it will be her.  I'm so glad I am able to be here for her because after all, that's what friends are for.

I'm thankful that Eric has comfortably settled into his life in Flordia ( he better come back and get me if he wants to make this move permanent lol) He is doing a wonderful job down there and has had some recognition (how cool huh!!!) I am so glad he is happy and at home where he is.
In the long run his major and field will be the one we eventually move for when we are married. I mean let's be honest. As a medical assistant/aspiring nurse (currently in school) there is an industry anywhere for me to work....however Memphis is not exactly booming in the Hospitality and Resort Management industry ( I mean not if precious Eric wants to work up the ladder) and I want him to be able to do that. I have told him before and I will tell him again. I could care less where I live as long as he is there with me. I love him so much and am still so proud of him for folllowing his dream.  I couldn't be prouder of him and it makes me love him even more to hear day after day about how well he is doing and how much he loves what he is doing. I couldn't thank God enough for putting such an amazing man in my life and I hope he (Eric) knows that I never take him for granted.

Well, i guess that is enough rambling for now (as it def. is rambling since I took a melatonin about 30 minutes ago) I hope yall have a great weekend and Labor Day!!!!!

Where Did My Energy GO?

Firstly, i guess a B12 shot will be in my near future. It's only the third day in and between school, work, and family time I am EXHAUSTED. Don't get me wrong I have had fun, I am just completely devoid of energy. Also on my to do list willl be to remember what foods and things provide excess B12 (those besides the best sources such as mussels, squid, liver, fish eggs, and so on.)....these are foods I will not eat unless life itself depends on it.....I hear that many cereals are fortified with B12 so maybe I will look into that, I am not a big caffeine or energy drink drinker (although occasionally I will have a nice big glass of sweet tea :) Energy drinks are a no no on my list.  There has never been a time where I have a had an energy drink and haven't broken out in hives. Just the other day I decided to test the apparent allergy and sure enough a few hours after i drank said drink I regretted it...so either supplements or a shot will be in my near future.

As far as work has gone, I have absolutely no complaints. Work is wonderful (I have a job to get me through bills and school so I can't complain) though it may be a tad bit frustrating at times overall it  is a good job with goood people.

School has been fun so far (emphasis on the so far) I am not a big fan of my statistics class, not because of my teacher, simply because statistics doesn't really interest me that much. This very day I contemplated going home and skipping it but I reminded myself to push to succeed in all that I do, so I am sticking it out (as I try not to fall asleep while waiting for it) I have a five hour break between my class before statistics and statistics....but that was the only class left available and I need to get it out of the way.
whenever i feel like I am going to whine or complain I just remind myself of a precious friend of mine who is probably one of the bravest people I know for taking 23 hours this semester. She is my inspiration for school and work this semester.
I am also blessed to have a class with my friend Jonah this semester. Classes are always more fun when you have a friend int he class to motivate you and keep you accountable for coming. Let's face it school isn't cheap so you might as well get everything out of it that you pay for it.

While Eric is gone i am so glad and thankful to have  my good friends by my side. Some of them I have known for quite a while and some of them I am getting to know better. One of them, and she knows who she is, may not know it but she is constantly challenging me (in a good way) and making me think. I feel like I am discovering a little bit about myself and it is def. all thanks to her. I personally think she missed her call in motivational speaking.

SO not much to talk about life is just settling into the schedule of fall and while its not normalcy yet I think in a few weeks it just might be :) I can't complain about anything in life right now :)

Now off to plan on how to get some natural energy!!!

Ready...Set....Go

This weekend has been a whirlwind and an emotional roller coaster.  I am not saying that I wouldn't want to do this weekend over, simply that it has been exhausting.

My third night of training at my new job landed me  running the front of the restaurant by myself. This essentially means I was in charge of all orders for both dine in and carry out.....that phone never, and I mean literally, never stopped ringing from 5 pm- 11 pm. Two people called in on their shift which left me helpless, still learning and by myself. yes I made some mistakes (about 7 out of my 125 guest check) Luckily, Rod wasn't mad at me (phew) and after a shift all by my lonesome in which I voluntarily stayed an extra hour past my schedule...i think I have partially earned Rod's full trust.  So, Friday night was full of work.



Saturday rolled along. I cleaned the majority of my room. there is barely anything left to do (score) and then I went to watch my brother's first exhibition game at the Jamboree (GO ELLENDALE BEARS) Football has always been a sport I like to watch so I have a blast going to watch dear brother play ball. ( side note: i would still love to watch him play any sport) Their 10 minute exhibition game ended a tie score of 0-0. It was very hot outside for his game so we decided to head to yogurt mountain (yummy original tart frozen yogurt which taste like greek yogurt....IM IN LOVE!!!) We also had dinner as a family at COlton's and then headed to Dicks sporting goods for a few minutes (where brother, sister, and I couldn't find the parentals ) so we did what we normally do in stores in this situatin....we shout marco and wait to hear polo....the looks from people are the best...

I watched the midnight bike race with Miriam and then took an impromtu trip at 4 am to Nashville with another friend this morning so she could pick up her little girl, who had been spending the weekend with her daddy. Unfortunately, her dad is in the national guard and was ordered to the east coast for Irene. No sleep Saturday night plus a road trip with a 3 year old is very tiring.

Tonight was orchestra, I picked up a book at Hastings for a steal of $3.99, then had sushi and yogurt mountain with my friends Sarah, Nicole, and Jonah.    ERIC YOU WERE GREATLY MISSED!!!

Very little sleep and tons of coffee and energy drinks to combat this didn't help to add to my emotional exhaustion already occuring so I have been taking great measures to avoid  a meltdown...even though it is my own fault. lol.

I am at the point now where I know I will be fine just ready for some shut eye.

Tomorrow I start school. I am super excited. I am ready to buckle down, be serious, and get this nursing degree and spanish degree :)

Well, this post was def. a rambler. sorry guys. Gnight!

Content in His Arms

I took a brief hiatus...yes all of two days....truthfully nothing blog worthy has happened over the past few days..nothing notable or of any important length to write just on blog on. My Sunday and Monday were nice.

Sunday I slept past two alarms ( and for those of yall who DON"T know me) I am the person that can hear my brothers alarm from across the house through his closed door and while he sleeps through it I can't go back to sleep until he ( or osmeone else ) turns it off. So i realized how worn out Saturday had made me since I had mastered sleeping through two of my own alarms right next to me ear. I decided to take Sunday easy. Went over to my grandparents house and hung out wiht my brother for a little bit (housesitting makes me really miss my family.) Then my grandma and I went to Yogurt Mountain (I was in heaven), we had both been craving it all week, so it was nice to go and spend some time with Grammy and talk. :) I love Yogurt Mountain's original tart!! It tastes just like greek yogurt!!! Yummy!!! Then off to orchestra practice I went. We are in full blown music quest mode so we are playing many John Williams pieces, along with some Die Hard, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, and a Cartoon Comedy Medley consisting of such pieces as: Looney Toons, Super Mario Bro., Spongebob, and the Smurfs!!!! I love my orchestra family at Bellevue. They are all so encouraging, it truly is a great time of laughs and fellowships. Followed was Sunday night service with my friends. The sermon was refreshing and just what I needed to start my week off. :)
On the way home I got a call from my boss at Mother's Day Out (I sub for them from time to time) and she asked me if I would work in the baby room Monday from 9-3. YES!!! This used to be my old summer job and I miss it dearly. :)
So Monday morning I got up and went to work with my sweet friend Jennifer, the classes recently promoted up, which for the infant room, means new babies. New babies who have never been away from mom and dad before so it was an interesting day, but I wouldn't have not done it. Getting to see babies laugh, giggle, coo, and just do silly things could brighten anyone's day. I played patty cake with several of the babies and they couldn't get enough. Watchingg them "roll it up" was definitely a sight to see as some of them were intently watching their hands as they did it.
I always love just rocking the babies to sleep or just holding them in general.

Babies are so trusting. So calm and secure in the arms that hold them.(pretty much no matter whose arms.) Whether you are holding them calmly, or walking with them at a slightly speedy pace, or whether you are throwing them up in the air to catch them, they just laugh and giggle completely content and completely secure. It really made me think about my relationship with God. Lately I have learned to just be content in his arms. Whether times are good, rushed, or hectic and whether or not I feel like I am in the up's and down's of life I have just been learning to hold on tight and be content in his arms.  I am His child after all and He has always been faithful to hold on tight, to just wrap His arms around me and walk with me through whatever the day brings. I am learning not to worry as much and just go with the flow, in his arms. A friend of mine, who has done so much discovering herself this summer told me that, yes, Eric being gone would be hard but that I was going to be learning so much this fall. She definitely was right , and if this is only what happens one week in I can't wait to see what the rest of the fall brings or how I will deepen a current understanding I have.

I truly believe God is using thsi fall to prepare Eric and I for our future. :) I am excited to see where God takes us in this future He has planned for us, but for now I am content where I am. I am being held in my Abba Father's arms and I will hold on tight through whatever comes :)

Day of Weddings

Today has been a day full of emotions!! Good emotions. It has also been busy to say the least...I started out my day at my good friend Nicole's house where she was curling my hair for the wedding I was in. Lord bless Nicole and her magical Chi straightener that curls my hair AMAZINGLY!!! Like better than a professional hair stylist  and her curling iron!! My curls are still in 12 hours later ( a real accompishment for my hair).
Anywho, the first wedding my good friend Katie's was absolutely gorgeous!!! I didn't trip didn't fall (YAY FOR ME) and it was just so nice to be able to share in her special day with her , and I scored some gorgeous earrings for being in her wedding ( which isn't super important but an added bonus)
After Katie's wedding I rushed on over to Gracie's wedding with my friends and watched their lovely (super quick ) wedding.  Poor Gracie the power at the church was out but we had the wedding anyway and it was lovely with a rocking reception to follow. we danced and had fun. I only stayed for about 45 minutes though because i was exhausted... if there is one thing that weddings will do it is make you realize how much you miss your special someone. lol.

well i felt like i have kiind of just mumbled through this one but my brain is turning itself off for the night so maybe my next post will be a little more lively.
have a great night!

Katie is getting married!!!

The day she has waited for will finally be here tomorrow. My good friend from highschool Katie is getting married!!!! i couldn't be more happy for her and couldn't be more honored to be in her wedding. Tomorrow, I will put on my spanx (which iin a few months I won't need yay) , put on the green dress and be a part of HER special day!! She def. deserves this and I can't imagine a better guy for her than her fiancee Timothy!
Today we had our bridesmaid luncheon at Chili's...I have to rave about their lunch combo menu real quick. I had half of a turkey sandwich which came with a bowl of soup (or salad) I opted for soup and a few french fries (literally like 8, just enough to curb a craving but not enough to any damage) That half sandwich was so filling, I couldn't even finish my soup...and all for 6 bucks plus tax!!! Although, I def. did miss my run today with all the carbs!!! Yikes!!!!
Next we went to get our mani/pedi!!! Since I have been in the healthcare field  manicures haven't been an option for about a year now so I was excited!! The pedicure was AMAZING!!! Made even better by the fact that five of us went and I was the last one so my feet got to soak in that glorious water and I got to get my neck and shoulders massaged by that wonderful chair for a glorious 30 minutes before they got to me....the downside...pruny feet..yuck. The fun part came for the manicure....for those of yall who know me I am a subconscious nail biter......yes my name is Allyson Moore and I am a ...nailbiter....phew now that that is off of my chest  back to the blog. Well nail biting means in order to have a french manicure you have to have tips put on. NO PROBLEM!! The guy who did my nails had fun giving me a hard time.
One thing i realized while sitting in that chair is that iit is fun to have time wiht just the girls, and I don't have to feel bad about not being with Eric.
After pampering time, I came back to the house I am staying at and played wiht the puppies and relaxed for a few hours and then it was time to head to the rehearsal.
I got to the church to meet everyone and my escort for the wedding. Quite the gentlemen in wasting no time in informing me he was engaged (in a polite joking way).....apparently within the first minute of meeting boys I give off an "i'm interested" vibe. Haha just kidding. He meant it in the sweetest way. The rehearsal was fun. The two flower girls are Katie's niece K and L. K is one year older ...well everytime K would drop a petal L would promptly pick it up behind her and tuck it into her basket....PRICELESS! After a few run throughs (and me realizing I have fallen in love with a certain song for my own wedding down the road) it was time for dinner. We were paired with our escorts for dinner so we could get to know each other (Timothy went to school in Pensacola, Florida so this was the first time we were meeting the groomsmen. So my friend Connie and I sat at a table with our "guys" and Connie's boyfriend David. We had a blast. My "guy" is finishing up premed to go to med school so he, Connie, and I had plenty to talk about.
I had forgotten how much fun it was to meet new people. Normally in a situation like this I would have just sat there and been quiet but I am so glad I faced a fear (my fear faced for this week) and opened up and talked to and met new people. It was a releasing feeling in a way and I am glad I did it.

Well, there is much to do tonight and an early morning so goodnight all!!!

Lazy Day

The title pretty much sums up my day...LAZY.
I started house sitting/dogsitting today and all I have done is sit around the house. Once the rain broke I wanted to go running because the house I am at is in a beautiful neighborhood, but sadly, I forgot my tennis shoes at home...and don't really wanna drive the thirty minutes back home to get them. I am contemplating running in my cross toe old navy flip flops though....hmmm. I think I will.
I actually think it is a good thing I be lazy today, in order to prepare for this busy weekend. My old friend from high school Katie is getting married Saturday!!! I couldn't be more excited for her!!!!!
So tomorrow starts the festivities of the bridesmaid luncheon (oh yeah I am one of the bridesmaid by the way...ultra excited) and then we're getting our mani/pedi (i'm not real big on the pedicure part) but who doesn't like a little pampering every once in a while. :) Then rehearsal dinner and THEN.....WEDDING DAY SATURDAY!!!!
I am so excited for Katie and T.C. and can't wait for them to embark on this wonderful journey and blessing God is going to bless them with and lead them on. 

This definitely is a season of weddings for my friends.  At first I was a little jealous, then I realized God has his perfect timing for everything and dating is such a great experience (or in my case courting), its one that doesn't come very often...I could have the rest of my life to be married to Eric, but this is our time to date and we want to make is special...so really I don't find myself being jealous. I know we are both where we are supposed to be and to be honest that is one thing that makes him being in Disney right now so much easier. God gifted Eric with a passion and a talent for what he is doing and after all if we are to glorify God in what we do then Eric being at Disney is right where he needs to be.

In the meanwhile, I will be here in Memphis where I am supposed to be saving money, paying off bills, and pursuing my nursing degree step by step trusting God through it all. A long distance relationship isn't as bad as I thought it would be, granted its only been 5 days but still, I thought I would have been reduced to a ball of sniffling tears by now and I'm not. I am happy for him where he is and I know that he is too. So, though I miss him, I couldn't be happier for him and will eagerly await the 63 days  left until i get to go down and see him.

Besides, I mean I have so much to look forward to this fall. I have friends coming back from summer trips, I am making some new friends, and even rekindling some old friendships (that I miss dearly) One of my dear friends, with whom I haven't spoken to in forever, text me out of the blue the other day with an encouraging text. It was as if God was winking at me, this person had been on my heart and I had been missing her terribly lately and just when I was at the point of literally becoming broken over it she text me. I love her so much and only wish the best for her and getting to talk to her for a little bit was so encouraging and really just made me smile.

My challenge for you today: ENCOURAGE SOMEONE, it can be anyone really. A current friend, an old friend, a brand new friend, heck someone you don't even know. Encouragement can mean so much to someone. :)

Getting Ready for the Fall

So I got the job!!! Now i have my source of income lined up and school all in order...the only thing left to do is enjoy my last week or so until school starts. I am very ready for school to start. I mean, sure once it gets going there are some days when I'm like....really school...but even then I know that I would rather be doing school.
I start my job training next tuesday. Our uniform is very relaxed for which I am very thankful!!!! Tennis shoes, Jeans, and the company TSHIRT!!!! Yes to no polo!!! :):):) Obviously very happy about this one.

I have been striving to better myself lately so one thing I did yesterday was watch a girl talk DVD with my friend. Girl Talk is something we do at Bellevue where there is a speaker and a specific topic and its a girls night essentially (as if you couldn't have figured that out).
Well this time the speaker Shaunti Feldhahn spoke about her book "For Women Only." I was BLOWN AWAY by the things I learned.

For example: As women we crave love so we would naturally assume men do also....WRONG.... some men would give up hearing his woman say "i Love you" if it meant we could say "we trust, respect, am proud of" etc. Men equate respect with love. If we love them then we will respect them.
Shaunti pointed out that in the Bible we are commanded as wives to "respect our husbands" and as husband they are to "love your wives". WOW!

There were many other subjects such as sex and communication and so on so forth!! It was wonderful!!! I will have to post on the subject once I finish reading the whole book!!! :)

I am so thankful for the friends I have had by my side lately :) I really appreciate them more than they know. One of my friends is neck high in nursing school and still finds time to send me encouraging little texts and have little coffee times with me. Another one of my friends is going through her own transformation in another country and has still encouraged me more than she will ever know. I am so excited for the fall that is about to come my way and take me on its wild ride :)
I know it won't all be super easy, but I do know that with my God and with the encouraging friends He has put my side I can do it!!!!

Eric moved into his apartment today and I couldn't be more excited for him. I know he is going to have a fantastic fall pursuing his dream. We are both where we are supposed to be for now, so my smile is on and I am going to enjoy this new experience :)

Good feelings

As I woke up this morning (to the whining and general carrying on of the daily fight between my mom and brother to go to school at 6:30) I realized something.... I actually slept well...this is not normal for me I normally toss and turn and wake up multiple times in the middle of the night. As I lay in the bed this morning thinking about this I realized that I always sleep well anytime I go more than  2 miles. Well, if that isn't enough motivation for me to get 2 miles in every day (save Sunday because I am BUSY) than I don't know what it. It's that good feeling that makes it worth while


I am also wondering if this new exercise idea and determination to be my fit self again is one of the reasons I haven't been so stressed and panicked about things changing....once again more motivation to keep on going for sure!!!
Things have changed drastically lately and while I am normally a wreck trying to grasp to one thing of familiarity, I am kind of kicking back and letting things play their course. I have a calm about me and a strength to hold on while I go on this journey. (Don't get me wrong I miss Eric, but it is a healthy missing him, not an unhealthy panicky one) He is doing something that is his dream and at the same time it gives me time to focus and work on me and all my little things I need to work on. The fact that I have been making progress on this is also another good feeling.

I have had time to spend with my grandma lately, something we don't get very often. I appreciate it so much.

I have a friend who has taken this summer and just let go and done things that weren't in her comfort zone and I have watched her (over her blog since she isn't stateside) become a stronger, more confident person.  She is conquering her fears and learning so much and becoming so much through them. She is such an encouragement to me more than she will know and I can't wait for her to get back to Memphis. I want to let go this fall and learn new things about myself try things I normally am afraid of or are out of my comfort zone.  She has encouraged me to try new things and just let go...and as silly as this sounds she has encouraged me (along with Eric) to keep up running and keep working for it because even though the process of getting up and going running is one that is challenging to motivate oneself to do , the feeling I have afterwards is wonderful and obviously is helping me with said stress. I have my grandma to thank for getting to 3 miles yesterday because after my meager 1.55 miles she wanted to go on  a walk and bailed out at .67 but she decided to walk again for 1.13...hence getting my total to over 3 miles. I love my grandma so much and am so glad I can talk to her about anything.
I look back on all my teenage years and realize how ungrateful I was.

I should hear today about this interview I went on yesterday and am excited to find out whether or not I got hired.
Well..I will quit boring yall for now. :)

Fall coming up

So yesterday was the day we sent Eric off on his journey to the place where dreams really do come true.
He gets to work at one of his favorite places on the planet for 4 and half months and I'm still saying it..I COULD NOT BE ANY PROUDER!!! He knew his goal, he went for it, and he conquered it!! Thats what kind of guy I want, a guy who is a go getter. :) There were tears yesterday (yes even from him) but we knew we were letting him go for something that was his dream and that made it all worth while. Will I miss him? YES. However, he has dreamed of this for so long and what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't let him chase his dreams? After all, he has supported me with some of mine for the past year :) Couldn't ask for a better guy....anyway off the mushy stuff

So today starts my 5 months where I get to learn a little about myself. I dove right on in with a job interview at 10:30 this morning at Mr. P's Buffalo WIngs Plus in Cordova. It went very well. The owner is a nice gentlemen who is not money happy but is one of those guys who is more interested in making sure the customer feels welcome and wanted and building relationships with the customer...you know the kind where they can walk in and we can just say,  " Hey Mr. Brown , you wanting the usual today?" "How is the family" and so on so forth. I will find out tomorrow whether or not I got the job but the owner says it looks promising. I like that answer, although I won't get all my hopes hung on it.  A job is on of my steps in saving up money for bills, life, and a trip to Disney, but also to keep me busy this semester with school and work. I pretty much have my priorities straight at the moment :)

I start house sitting this week. I am so excited. I have house sitted for this family before and they have the two most adorable dogs that love to cuddle. No joke. I always wake up with one on  my chest or in the crook of my arm. They are so well behaved. This family also lives in a quiet neighborhood with a lovely house. i always just have time to relax and think when I stay at their house. Can't wait.

Well I have postponed a run until later this evening with the plan of napping this afternoon. Lazy I know but I am just so exhausted from the last few days with Eric and his family as we were going non stop to fit in every last second that we could with him. That and the combination of my brother yelling every monrning about not wanting to go to school at6 every morning and waking the whole house up have made me very sleepy.  Haha

Well that's all I shall bore you with now I suppose.

:)

T-1 day... Here we go

Today's post shall be short and sweet...mostly because I am spending the whole day with Eric and his family but while we are all resting I figured I would sneak this in very quickly.

Eric leaves tomorrow and I think I have successfully prepared myself for it mentally. I can only contribute this to God because I have never had peace like this before. I can already feel Satan trying to move in on my thoughts and emotions over Eric leaving, but I am confident in my position of feelings and the peace that God has given me.

For this week the fear I have been facing is openly facing the fact that Eric is leaving. Normally anything I don't want to think about for fear of letting it overtake me is openly acknowledging something. I'm scared to. This week I have been openly acknowledging the fact that Eric is leaving every day and telling myself it will be okay and not to be overdramatic. I know I sound hopeless but I really have been doing better. I learned that by openly facing this now I am actually much more prepared for Eric's departure. I know my best friend will be miles away but that we will have connections.

Well thats all for now.

Have a great week!!!

T- 2 days and counting..

First of all let me stress I can't thank God enough for the awesome opportunity He is giving Eric and allowing him to go on this internship. I am so proud of Eric as well.  Also, I guess I should thank God in advance for what He will probably teach me on this journey ahead of me. For those of yall who don't know me well enough. I am not a big one for change. I mean once the results are in I am thankful for the change, however, the whole process of change is one I struggle with. I like things to be the norm and when a change comes that isn't the norm. I'm weird I know I know. However, I have run across many encouraging things lately and I am giong to go against the norm (mini freak out moment) and try to dive head first into change, to beat it to the chase so to speak.

One thing I really struggle with is fear...fear of change...fear of losing people I love...fear of new situations...this fall I am going to strive to face these fears... Ralph Waldo Emerson once said..."It was from a high counsel I once heard given a young man ..Do what you are afraid to do."

I think alot of what holds me back from trying new things and things I am afraid to do is ultimately the fear of failure...when looking back in my life I realize that everyone who does something makes a mistake...the only ones who don't make mistakes are those who don't try it. This fall I am going to resolve to try to do something at least once a week that I would normally be afriad to do.

My God tells me in 2 Timothy 1:7- "For God hath not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and of a sound mind." My fear isn't from God it is from Satan himself. I don't want Satan to have the glory. So no matter how much my knees shake, I am going to try new things this fall and try to leave my cozy, little bubble and enjoy life without the fear of new things :)

A season of Change

Change.
That will definitely be my theme for this fall.
I guess it can kind of tie in with my other theme for this year which has been growth.
I am going to have many changes this fall. Eric as well.
Eric is leaving  to go start his internship with Disney World for the fall semester in just 4 short days.
Will I miss him? OF COURSE!!!
But, in spite of that, I am so incredibly proud of him and all he is accomplishing for himself, and in the long run, us.
I have realized several things about myself since I found out of his departure in March.
#1- my friends have changed..until recently i have had the same set of friends almost since highschool (which most of have faded away, not because of bad situations, but after highschool with college and relationships that just happens.) There is a season for everything. I have made lots of new friends recently and reconnected with some middle school friends. I can't wait to get to know my new friends better and make my relationships stronger with old friends this fall. I feel like i kind of neglected this due to the fact that i have awful social anxiety (shocker to those of yall who KNOW me i know.) and the fact that I had my best friend with me I felt like I would be abandoning him ( I have also had a real life lesson recently about being too attached. Eye opener. but there can be another post for that)
So this fall. I am going to face my fear  and come out of my shell and get to know my current friends better and even strive to meet new friends :)
#2- school....I have struggled back and forth with what I have wanted to do. I started nursing, but to be honest, wasn't as serious as I should have been about it. Going to a private school for highschool kind of spoiled me for college. At Central no teacher wanted you to fail so I, along with many other students, were spoiled with full grades for late assignments etc. This led to me being lazy in college and after not making adequate grades in a few classes I got very discouraged. This led me to go to Concorde and get my diploma in Medical Assisting. Upon completing my externship for this I had many people, all professional, family, and friends tell me i was cheating myself with what I could do in life. Would I change going to Concorde...No, I learned some valuable lessons, skills, and six months of work experience and met some wonderful people. One again a season for everything. After much prayer and consulting with trusted people I have decided to go back to Memphis and finish up my gen eds for nursing. God truly is wonderful I eneded up getting enough money to be getting paid to go to school. (a real relief since tuition was hiked up 11% this school year...
#3-long distance relationship- I am not complaining in the least bit when i say this, only that it will be a change, a challenge in essence. I am sure I will learn alot about myself with Eric a couple hundred miles away. We are both going to miss each other. We are trying to focus on our future together and get the ball rolling haha. Thank God for skype and other modern things. :)

Well thats about all the time i have for this splurge of thought.
Peace.

Michigan ...In a Nutshell

So blogging kind of gets pushed out of priorities when you are doing so much and having so much fun....and honestly, rather than racking my brain to remember what we did everyday, I'm just going to post some highlights from the trip.
We have celebrated many things: birthdays, graduations, acceptance to intern programs etc. Mrs. Joy had a birthday so we treated her to presents, cake, and balloons.

To celebrate the occasions, we had dinner at a place called Boatwerks. The food was delicious (company great obviously) and macaroni and cheese to die for. We had a bowl of mac and cheese to split between the table with bacon and grilled chicken (def. not healthy but tasty , some of the best ive had actually)

Boatwerks also served Mrs. Joy a complimentary dessert....for which Walt threatened to devour....

While here through family I made a new friend, precious little Emily, she attached to me the first day and didn't let go till the day she left. I miss her already.

While here, she lost a tooth, and got 24 dollars!!! (pitched in from everyone of course) mostly because she spent forever trying to get that tooth out.

Emily, Eric, and I spent some time together Wednesday afternoon while the adults went shopping. We had a pajama party (compliments of Emily's imagination) and took pictures, played music, danced, and colored....I think Emily liked my drawings for her since I got replicas of them from her :)

Okay, now onto the short food section (since I forgot to snap alot of pictures) Michigan has several delicious dishes (especially for breakfast) which I can't believe we haven't thought of in the south..
First on the list, Hashbrown Omelet....this is an omelet that is inside a bed of hashbrowns...healthy? definitely not...delicious...YES!

Also, The Shoes giant cinnamon roll. DELICIOUS....for the record this was not my breakfast..
well bummer, that photo won't load...sometime later I suppose..
The other delicious treat here is slurpee....I totally wish we had these in Memphis.

Puzzles were many ...especially since Eric and I bought Disney puzzles at Barnes and Noble for a steal..

And so were games..

and of course sunsets..

PEACE

Michigan Trip 2011 Day 3

 Yes days 1 &2 made us this sleepy on our way to church

Yesterday was Day 3, i would have waited until this evening and just posted both yesterday and today together but it's been so crazy laid back here that i decided to do it today.

Yesterday started out going to church. Outdoor church to be exact. The weather was absolutely wonderful! The sun was behind the clouds so there was not blazing heat and there was a nice breeze making for a beautiful atmosphere to worship the Lord. We had a nice time of worship, the church had a guest band, BBOP (Big Band of Praise) who were a jazz group who played beautiful music and brought much honor and glory to the Lord with their playing.

After church, we came back to the house and had sandwiches (yes we are wild children) and some of us took naps (its a sunday tradition)

 Eric is somewhere under all that stuff.

after this we got ready to go back on the lake, this time we took the boat out on Lake Michigan (it was a bit calmer today) anchored and swam. it was wonderful to just chill in the water while random waves and wakes from other boats just floated you here and there. :)

After swimming we came back to eat dinner (london broil, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, fresh salad, fresh fruit....can we say YYUUMM!!!) Walt's cousin Mike is an EXCELLENT griller and has been treating us to some delicious meals. After eating we decided that we were giong to go out on the boat and watch the sunset.

The sun was behind the clouds as it set so unfortunately no sunset for us so we enjoyed jumping waves and chasing each other in the boat....Walt went so fast that Eric lost his hat and dove straight in for it (scaring his mother quite beyond her liking i must say) I did catch some pretty pictures of clouds and Walts boat hair...

After the lake we went to the general store to get famous Hudsonville icecream... I try a new flavor everytime. Last night was chocolate monster....i am not a chocolate ice cream person but this was GOOD!! chocolate icecream with fudge pieces and peanut butter ribbon yum!!!!

I also found this sign in the general store which i found quite humorous....

After this we had a scrabble game ...which i forgot to snap a picture of.....whoo whoo 3rd place!!! lol
Well, that was Sunday...more on Monday later!!!!
Peace