Perseverance

This seems to be what I have been trying to tackle lately. Perseverance. By definition is:

to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.

I definitely find myself doing this lately, and I'm not really complaining about it. There are some things you always take for granted...no matter how old you are...and then one day all of a sudden the light bulb clicks on that you have to fight for what you want. You have to steadfastly continue toward your goal despite difficulty, obstacles or discouragement.  

I was always told that as a child of God I would definitely have to persevere in my life if I wanted to give Him glory with what I do. I would be lying if I said I hadn't failed miserably in some ways because I have, but I am so thankful for His grace and mercy over me. I am glad He doesn't hold me to an expectation of perfection because to be honest I would fail miserably. 

 

One area I have had to have perseverance in is my jogging. I want to be great at it so badly, and I hate having to take small leaps and bounds (patience would definitely be a lesson learned here too.) Having exercise induced asthma and a right ankle with very weak ligaments due to some breaks in them last year make it hard to run like I use to, but they also make me more determined to be able to do it. Pre ankle injury I had about an 11 minute mile (yes I know slow to yall who run alot) but it is good to me, so having a 17 minute mile now is not acceptable to me, but I am working on it. I am PERSEVERING through it, trying to up my time a little more everyday. After all, babies don't just walk right away, they stand and wobble, take a few steps and fall down, but what do they do? They get right on back up and take those few steps again. That is what I am determining to persevere through and get my mile back to that magic 11 mark. God has been so faithful in bringing me people in my life or instilling the same passion in people already in my life. Eric is doing a half marathon in January so when he was here we were running together. For health reasons, my grandma is now having to walk so I have her to walk a mile and half with (I almost have her up to two miles) and then there is my new friend. She motivates me to keep exercising. She has motivated me to sign up for the St. Jude 5k (while she herself will be doing the half marathon) and we plan on doing an upcoming Obstacle Course 5k next month. She is one of the most encouraging people I have ever met.  I love her dearly and am so glad God has blessed me with her friendship.

 

Another place I am having to persevere in is the balance of school and work. Work isn't hard, in fact I have time to study at work, and have an easier job than most. Please don't misconstrue this as complaining. I am so happy and know I am blessed to have a job. Sometimes I just have to persevere to come home from work at night and fit in those 4-5 hours of studying and fight the urge to not want to go hang out with friends all the time. It's part of growing up I think. When I get married, I will have work, home and a husband to take care of and I can't wait for that. I would def. however say that this is training me for that. I don't get much free time and before when that would have bothered me it doesn't really bother me now. I knew when I declared my major that my life would pretty much be study study study until I was done and that is okay with me, because I love what I want to do. I have a passion for it and I know  the wait and the studying will pay off. 

 

I also have to persevere in the fact to keep going with life even though the person I want most to be in the same city with me isn't. Once again I am not complaining because I know people whose husbands are in different countries fighting for us, and I have more respect for them then they will ever know. Having to move on with life temporarily isn't always super easy though. There are many times when I want to call Eric and just let him know how much I miss him and how much I want him here in Memphis with me. Then I think, He is down in Orlando, doing something he has a passion for, a love for. Much like I have a love for nursing, he has a love for Resort management and though I don't personally understand this love (much like he can't quite comprehend mine for wanting to care for sick people) I know that I love him and whatever he loves I will support. I know he would do the same for me. So I am content to persevere through the fact that he isn't here because I KNOW that he is doing something he loves and that ultimately will advance him in his future in this career. I am so thankful that in 34 days I get to go down and see him. 

 

However, for now I am content to persevere through my life that God has so richly blessed me with. With a great new friend by my side who encourages me everyday, I know I will make it. She is a wonderful person to have around. She is constantly making me laugh, we just have fun together. Whether we are eating dinner at Bubble Tea or reliving a petty discussion we had by seeing Ryan Gosselin (however its spelled lol) on the big screen in a movie, I know she gets me.

 

well thats enough rambling for now. :)  

Staying Busy

Life this week has been pretty good. A little emotional but I def. can't complain.

I took my first Anatomy Test today and I made an 86 on it. I was excited to make a B. Our teacher then informed us he was giving bonus quizzes for a possibility of making five extra bonus points. PRAISE THE LORD I studied the section on homeostasis like it was going out of style. I got my five extra bonus points bringing me to a 91...giving me an A!!!! SO THANKFUL!

I have been working alot lately. Between work, school, and studying, I keep myself fairly busy. I am loving it though. I have the chance to eat a few meals with a good new friend I have made over the past few weeks and have hung out a few times with an old friend I am rekindling with.

God has shown himself so faithful this week. He has given me strength and stamina when I needed it and people in my life at the right time. He has given me peace about things I have been anxious about, and brought sleep to me when I didn't think I would be able to. He has strengthened my resolve on issues and broken me down into tears on others. HE is so faithful.

A song that has been close to my heart lately is "He's Always Been Faithful" by Sarah Groves. That song says exactly how I feel and even on days when I don't feel it, I have it on my ipod and written on my wall in my room reminding me of this.  HE is so faithful. Ironically, I don't think it is something I would have learned to the full extent that I have learned it if Eric wasn't in Orlando. I'm not trying to say Eric was hindering me. Just sometimes, God has to get you by yourself to teach you a lesson. HE needed Eric and I apart so I could lean fully on HIM and teach me this lesson. It give the lesson greater meaning. It also taught me that I can live without Eric in the same city as me for a little while. The missing Eric part is starting to kick in, but I have my countdown (38 days) for those of you who were wondering. I am loving life and can't wait to share with Eric about my fall and I can't wait to hear about his!

Well off for more studying!!!!

Coffe, study, Repeat :)

This is definitely how I have felt today. If I hadn't have had that cup of coffee this morning I just don't know what I would've done. Mondays and Wednesdays are my buckle down days. I am at school from 7-7. I have a five hour break and instead of drive home I just veg at school and STUDY STUDY STUDY!!! I have so far spent a collective total of 5.5 hours in the library studying ONE subject today! I knew Anatomy is going to take a lot of studying, and I am not complaining. Just saying. If anything today, I have learned that my glasses are no longer current...my head hurt worse then if I hadn't worn them. In saying, I was prompted to make an appointment with my eye doctor (it is time for my annual anyway.) Hopefully, my eye sight hasn't worsened.
It certainly was already random as it was. One eye nearsighted and one eye farsighted. So hopefully with an updated prescription or a new answer will make staring at this computer screen and endless sheets of white paper with tiny black words on them much easier.

I am in love with my classes this semester. My spanish class is awesome and while I am still not sure about my profesor's teach style, I think I can manage to buckle down and self teach my stuff. The fact that I took a year off from my spanish minor did become really apparent to me this week and last week as we reviewed. Still, I love the Spanish language. This morning, one of my friends and I were texting and I told her I was walking into my spanish class she said, "EW", which is fine cause she is a French minor, to which I say, "EW", haha.

My history teacher definitely makes learning history fun, and while he isn't quite Dr. Weaver, he def. is the next best. I worry about his class because I am not good at writing essays and that is LITERALLY all ANY assignment in his class is, an essay. However, I feel like I am retaining alot and he gives us the essay question possibilities on our syllabus so you can always just prepare for each question. I am so glad I am taking a class with a friend! It always give you something to look forward to. Thanks Jonah for letting me know we were taking one of the same classes so I could hop into your section!

Statistics isn't quite my favorite subject but we are a lively, discussive (is that a word) group and my teacher is great. I opted to be a notetaker in this class for SDS, partially because noone else would volunteer and to be helpful to this student, but also because this is the class that keeps me at school in the evenings on Monday and Wednesday (prompting the 5 hour break.) Sometimes it is so tempting to go home and now especially with being a note taker that just isn't an option.

Theatre...well its basic theatre. Totally bearable but nothing that really is worthy of saying on here (which is a nice way of saying I didn't get to go last week) My boss at work extended me an hour and pushed me out of time to get to class. I had dinner with a wonderful friend instead. :)

That leaves Anatomy. There is so much i could say aout this topic. I have a love hate relationship iwht it. I love A & P, I just wish it didn't have chemistry at the beginning of the book. I have never been a big fan of chemistry. It was just always one of those subjects that didn't hold my attention enough to want to know more about it. I am very inquisitive and interested in the human body and its functions, but I guess as to how it is made up and what the basis of all those functions are has just never made it into my head to want to know. I have just always accepted it is what it is I suppose.
In saying that my first test over chapters 1 & 2 is Monday or Tuesday ( a perk of taking an online course) I have chapter 1 down. Bet you can't guess what chapter 2 is? CHEMISTRY (so I have been disciplined and for the past 5.5 hours have had my rear end in this library chair in front of the computer: studying the power points, doing the vocabulary, review, and even the questions online which is like a practice quiz and give you a grade (not in the book , like a just for you thing.)  Well a 79.8 is a B.....so I guess I will accept that but I will not quit studying. I want A's or high B's. I know I can do this stuff it is just a matter of applying myself and really buckling down.
I already feel like I have massacred a billion trees with all the notecards I have been using for Anatomy and Spanish.

So life has just been going. I am just rolling along, enjoying what I am learning from life and in school. It really has hit me lately that I miss Eric sooo much, but I shall be a big girl ( I am always reminded of the old Pert Plus commercial where the song "Big Girls Don't Cry" is being played in the background.)

Well that's it for now.

Soaking Up The Sun.

That would be exactly how I would describe my life right now. I'm just soaking up the sun. It's that feeling that you know everything is as it should be and you are just laying there soaking it all up. Eric is at Disney (where he is supposed to be), I am here working and going to school (as I am supposed to be.)  
God really has shown me over the past few weeks that I am right where HE wants me. I am able to help so many right now or encourage them. From just the small texts, to hanging out with friends and laughing together, I just feel like it is right and have a warmth in my heart.
If you had told me six months ago that I was going to be content this fall I would have laughed in your face. My friend Madison told me before Eric left that I was going to enjoy this fall and was going to learn alot about Eric and myself this fall. Boy was she right!!! They are all good things that I have learned. I wouldn't change it for anything though.

It was so nice this weekend to spend time with my friend Miriam at the ballgame and fair. It was nice yesterday to spend the day with Hope and Lily and watch movies. 
It was absolutely gorgeous today outside so between classes Madison and I decided to have a small picnic on the lawn. It was so wonderful outside and it was nice to just sit on a blanket on the lawn at school, soak up the sun and forget everything around me for a little while and just have girl talk :) I hope she enjoyed it as much as I did, although we are diong it again tomorrow for lunch so I'm thinking she loved it. 

I got a wonderful call this morning, informing me that my work schedule had changed just a little and that my boss was switching my normal Tuesday work day with Saturday lunch shift. It's a great feeling when you find out you don't work on a day you think you do :) Don't get it wrong I love my job, but who wouldn't be happy about finding out you don't work. My sister would say yay more time to hang out with my friends. My initial reaction was yay more time to study for classes and finish up a few projects :) That's the life of a nursing student I suppose. I did end up with plans of "working" tonight though. A friend of mine asked me if I could watch her precious little boy tonight for a few hours. I immediately said yes. (who could resist watching a precious little baby?)

So tonight I will do that, come home and study some more (with hopefully a walk around the neighborhood with my grandma inbetween) I will also probably finish my Statistics project tonight. I have a massive 5 hour break tomorrow between classes and while I am spending 1-2 of those hours with Madison that still gives me three hours to finish the project. 
I don't want to get in the habit of finishing up projects last minute though, so I will probably finish it tonight. :) You know what they say if you start well it helps you end well. I want to end well. :)

Well enough rambling back to studying anatomy :)

Mercy & Compassion & Random Musings

Lately I have been contemplating spiritual gifts and my own spiritual gifts and just what that means God requires of me. Over the past few months many things have happened in my life and to the people in my life and to people whom I don't even really know who they are. I hurt for people often. Wanting to take away their pain, wanting to if I physically could, take some of their pain on myself as if to make their suffering a little easier. It's part of me, wired into who I am, how I feel. For years I never understood why I was so affected by others feelings.  Finally, one year I learned that  I had the spiritual gift of mercy and compassion.  Upon digging a little deeper and talking with my mentor about it, many things started to make sense to me.
As I began to learn about this gift (or as I like to call it a trait in my life) I began to realize why I am emotionally wired the way I am. God made me  a specific way to use these things for Him and His glory.  FInally, the things I felt for years that my family worried about me for began to make sense. I wasn't some crazy, emotional person worried about the welfare of others for no reason. It was this spiritual gift that God has given me that has allowed me to care about some things that some people would find completely crazy or silly.
As I have grown up and become an adult, I have really found and observed how the gift of mercy is different.  Things happen to people and while some people just can't seem to find any sympathy for them, I find myself having an overwhelming sense of sympathy for them and just want to help out and lend a helping hand and take some of their stress and pain away.  Many times I get lectured for it. Yes, I have had to learn the fine line so I wouldn't give some people too much attention and be an "enabler" but I still struggle today with getting to attached. I find myself emotionally drained sometimes but not in a bad way.  I find myself on my knees in prayer,  interceding to my Heavenly Abba on people's behalves.  After all, doesn't the Bible say that we should
  "...help the weak, be patient with all men, see that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that whcih is good for one another and all men, to rejoice always and pray without ceasing." 1 Thes. 5:14b-17
I can't stand the thought of seeing someone who is hurt and not even offering a kind word or just a hand on the shoulder. 
I am not saying this to "pump myself up" or "brag" I guess this is all something that has been in my head that I had finally just had to put out there in verbal words.

Now that I got that out of my system...lol. A quick update. Work is going well. I have a crazy long work day tomorrow but I know with God's strength I will make it through.
Please pray for me, I have found my energy to still be decreasing and just can not quite figure it out but this is not a good time. Sleep isn't coming easily and I can't do caffeine since I now break out into hives whenever I consume so much as a cup of tea or coffee. (Thank God we have decaf tea at home because I have to have a little sweet tea every now and then)

School is going well. It has taken a little bit of getting used to, but I think I am finaly giong to be able to stay in the swing of things.

48 days til I leave for Disney. Yes I have officially decided to start the countdown at 48...I'm crazy I know.

I'm so glad I have been able to get to know a new friend better this week. I can't wait to see what this semester brings for her as she has already had quite a few surprises come her way but she is one fo the strongest people I know and I know if anyone can handle it, it will be her.  I'm so glad I am able to be here for her because after all, that's what friends are for.

I'm thankful that Eric has comfortably settled into his life in Flordia ( he better come back and get me if he wants to make this move permanent lol) He is doing a wonderful job down there and has had some recognition (how cool huh!!!) I am so glad he is happy and at home where he is.
In the long run his major and field will be the one we eventually move for when we are married. I mean let's be honest. As a medical assistant/aspiring nurse (currently in school) there is an industry anywhere for me to work....however Memphis is not exactly booming in the Hospitality and Resort Management industry ( I mean not if precious Eric wants to work up the ladder) and I want him to be able to do that. I have told him before and I will tell him again. I could care less where I live as long as he is there with me. I love him so much and am still so proud of him for folllowing his dream.  I couldn't be prouder of him and it makes me love him even more to hear day after day about how well he is doing and how much he loves what he is doing. I couldn't thank God enough for putting such an amazing man in my life and I hope he (Eric) knows that I never take him for granted.

Well, i guess that is enough rambling for now (as it def. is rambling since I took a melatonin about 30 minutes ago) I hope yall have a great weekend and Labor Day!!!!!