Lately I have been contemplating spiritual gifts and my own spiritual gifts and just what that means God requires of me. Over the past few months many things have happened in my life and to the people in my life and to people whom I don't even really know who they are. I hurt for people often. Wanting to take away their pain, wanting to if I physically could, take some of their pain on myself as if to make their suffering a little easier. It's part of me, wired into who I am, how I feel. For years I never understood why I was so affected by others feelings. Finally, one year I learned that I had the spiritual gift of mercy and compassion. Upon digging a little deeper and talking with my mentor about it, many things started to make sense to me.
As I began to learn about this gift (or as I like to call it a trait in my life) I began to realize why I am emotionally wired the way I am. God made me a specific way to use these things for Him and His glory. FInally, the things I felt for years that my family worried about me for began to make sense. I wasn't some crazy, emotional person worried about the welfare of others for no reason. It was this spiritual gift that God has given me that has allowed me to care about some things that some people would find completely crazy or silly.
As I have grown up and become an adult, I have really found and observed how the gift of mercy is different. Things happen to people and while some people just can't seem to find any sympathy for them, I find myself having an overwhelming sense of sympathy for them and just want to help out and lend a helping hand and take some of their stress and pain away. Many times I get lectured for it. Yes, I have had to learn the fine line so I wouldn't give some people too much attention and be an "enabler" but I still struggle today with getting to attached. I find myself emotionally drained sometimes but not in a bad way. I find myself on my knees in prayer, interceding to my Heavenly Abba on people's behalves. After all, doesn't the Bible say that we should
"...help the weak, be patient with all men, see that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that whcih is good for one another and all men, to rejoice always and pray without ceasing." 1 Thes. 5:14b-17
I can't stand the thought of seeing someone who is hurt and not even offering a kind word or just a hand on the shoulder.
I am not saying this to "pump myself up" or "brag" I guess this is all something that has been in my head that I had finally just had to put out there in verbal words.
Now that I got that out of my system...lol. A quick update. Work is going well. I have a crazy long work day tomorrow but I know with God's strength I will make it through.
Please pray for me, I have found my energy to still be decreasing and just can not quite figure it out but this is not a good time. Sleep isn't coming easily and I can't do caffeine since I now break out into hives whenever I consume so much as a cup of tea or coffee. (Thank God we have decaf tea at home because I have to have a little sweet tea every now and then)
School is going well. It has taken a little bit of getting used to, but I think I am finaly giong to be able to stay in the swing of things.
48 days til I leave for Disney. Yes I have officially decided to start the countdown at 48...I'm crazy I know.
I'm so glad I have been able to get to know a new friend better this week. I can't wait to see what this semester brings for her as she has already had quite a few surprises come her way but she is one fo the strongest people I know and I know if anyone can handle it, it will be her. I'm so glad I am able to be here for her because after all, that's what friends are for.
I'm thankful that Eric has comfortably settled into his life in Flordia ( he better come back and get me if he wants to make this move permanent lol) He is doing a wonderful job down there and has had some recognition (how cool huh!!!) I am so glad he is happy and at home where he is.
In the long run his major and field will be the one we eventually move for when we are married. I mean let's be honest. As a medical assistant/aspiring nurse (currently in school) there is an industry anywhere for me to work....however Memphis is not exactly booming in the Hospitality and Resort Management industry ( I mean not if precious Eric wants to work up the ladder) and I want him to be able to do that. I have told him before and I will tell him again. I could care less where I live as long as he is there with me. I love him so much and am still so proud of him for folllowing his dream. I couldn't be prouder of him and it makes me love him even more to hear day after day about how well he is doing and how much he loves what he is doing. I couldn't thank God enough for putting such an amazing man in my life and I hope he (Eric) knows that I never take him for granted.
Well, i guess that is enough rambling for now (as it def. is rambling since I took a melatonin about 30 minutes ago) I hope yall have a great weekend and Labor Day!!!!!
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